10 commandments college dating
But there’s not enough people here, so you end up hooking with a lot of the same people.” Isaku Shao ’19 is part of that rare species— a queer Swattie in a long-term, on-campus relationship. And the workload makes it so people have very little time, so we only have the time to hang out with our cliques.
There’s no time to meet new people, so it’s especially hard for queer people, where we have to actively look for each other.” Queer couples are looked upon by the wider gay community with borderline adoration.
If you are not aware of any active rumors claiming you and one of your closest friends are together, start asking. With such a small pool, it’s not surprising that many students— particularly queer students, who constantly have to figure out whether their crush is straight— end up on apps, mainly Tinder and Grindr.
I’ve seen queer couples be mistaken for best friends, while male blonde athletes and their wholesome-looking girlfriends hold hands and make out at every possible moment.
Art Davis ’18 describes the envy and intensity around queer couples: “Swatties are very engaged people who want to succeed, and for whatever reason, success is seen as a happy, settled romantic relationship.
Also, seeing happy straight couples makes you want to be happy and visible in that way.
Every time a TV show buries its gays [kills off a queer character, or teases and ultimately does not show a gay relationship] or something, that desire gets a little stronger.” Which brings us to the Third Commandment— Drink enough Franzia and you will get sad and bemoan your lack of a sex/love/emotional life, preferably alongside other Sad Gays.
“It might be a feeling that you have to lower your expectations, like you’ll never find love, and by and large because LGBT people are less visible, less safely able to be out.
You feel you sort of have to lower your expectations.”The sheer number and visibility of straight couples, especially as opposed to gay ones, can be demoralizing.If a straight person dares join in the complaint chorus, you may be tempted to bite their head off.As prevalent as hookup culture is at Swarthmore, options can be sparse, particularly if you prefer to avoid parties.Of course, Swatties are about as awkward online as in real life, so if things go poorly with your match, you will be stuck seeing them on a weekly basis for the next few years.“…it is hard to meet Swatties through apps, because they tend to swipe left on other Swatties – I think it depends on what you’re looking for and Swatties think it’s awkward to hook up with each other,” notes Shao. Even though many Swatties use dating/hookup apps at least occasionally, a veil of discretion hangs around the subject.Hence the necessity of the Sixth Commandment: I don’t care if you recognize them from Tinder and think they look better in person, you do not use “I matched with you! Of course, there is the option of looking at people outside the Swarthmore bubble.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating