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“We were together basically every night, which became exhausting and I just didn’t have the energy for it in the end.” Despite previously concluding polyamory did not work for him, Mr Marrasso said CNM is still something he will always want prospective partners to consider.“I’m at that point now where I want to build and enjoy life with someone, and I’m not fussed whether or not we bring another partner in,” he said.
Though norm-challenging and label-shunning millennials are increasingly accepting of CNM, a lack of Australian studies for polyamory indicate it is perhaps still a taboo topic.
The CSIRO did, however, publish research in 2014 that indicated one per cent of over 5000 respondents were in an open relationship.
“It’s a lot more effort satisfying two partners physically and emotionally,” he said.
“Some nights you just want to chill out and even when you’re chilling there’s still two other people in the house and chances are one of them wants your attention.
“You need to look at all the dynamics of what you and your partner are and why you’ve decided to be polyamorous.
“Only do it with someone you’re both just as into and who is just as into both of you, because that leaves less room for insecurity and doubt.” The “throuple” (a long-term relationship with three people) lived together for three months but Mr Marrasso eventually decided it was not a sustainable lifestyle for him.
“The old traditions of marriage and monogamy are starting to fade as more people are discovering that those traditions were set up in a different society with different expectations.” Many Australians never questioned or challenged the monogamous model, which is something Ms Van Diest said we all get taught from a young age.
“We are told to believe the story of the prince and princess who fall in love and will live happily ever after,” she said.
Mr Marrasso said being in a polyamorous relationship was “a lot of fun because we were our own party when we went out together”.
“It started with a bet with my ex-girlfriend, but this girl ended up being obsessed with both of us, and we really liked her too, so we had a really good time together,” Mr Marrasso said.
“We conflate monogamous behaviour, successfully executed over five decades, with the sincerity of someone’s commitment.” Selma van Diest, is an Adelaide psychologist and sex therapist focusing on relationship problems and intimacy.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating