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Here's a look at some of our latest members: Our members are different to the average person looking for love. Whatever their disability happens to be, they are all unique. Having a disability doesn’t make you 'different' here - it is your unique personality that does that.
Whilst I wouldn’t choose to leave it till D Day to turn up to a swanky restaurant or cosy cinema with wheelchair and (Taa-Dah!
) Jazz hands to boot, I also think that disclosing too early can make any impairment look like more of an obstacle than it ever needs to be.
To start, we introduced six common statements of potential online daters with disabilities (PWDs). Census, most people (65%) in this age group without disabilities also are never married.
What do you think; are these statements true or false? “Everyone my age is married but me.” FALSE In fact, between ages 18 and 34, the percent of PWDs who have never married is 74%. If we consider all adults ages 18 and older, 41% of PWDs are married as are 52% of adults without disabilities (Schur, Kruse, & Blanck, 2013). “Online dating is only for losers.” FALSE Surely not, in that according to the Pew Internet (2016), 27% of American adults ages 18 to 24 have used online dating, 15% of Americans overall. For example, the share of 55- to 64-year-olds who use online dating doubled from 6% in 2013 to 12% in 2015. “There’s no website for people like me.” FALSE Of course, there is no reason why a PWD cannot use a dating app or online dating site like OKCupid, Tinder, Bumble, and e Harmony.
Whilst this may be true in some cases, there’s a few ways in which I reckon we can inject some fun (and much needed knowledge) into the battlefield of disabled dating.
As an ‘agony aunt’ for Enhance the UK’s Love Lounge, one of the only forums of its kind to honestly answer all those nitty gritty things you wanted to ask about disability, sex and relationships, a question we often see is, when online dating, should the impairment be disclosed immediately?In general, people tend to be comfortable with the disability that they know.However, some PWDs prefer a partner who can compensate for their disability, someone without similar limitations. “Everyone lies on their dating profile.” TRUE Adults without obvious physical disabilities most commonly misrepresent themselves in terms of their physical appearance, the characteristic that daters most highly value in their potential partners.However, PWDs may have an advantage and feel more comfortable when using sites targeted directly to them.These include Whispers4u and Dating 4 Disabled, which address people with physical and mobility-related disabilities; Disabled Passions and Prescription4Love, which include daters with a variety of physical and mental health conditions; No Longer Lonely, for adults with mental illness; and POZ Personals, for daters who are HIV positive. “No one without a disability will ever find me attractive.” FALSE PWDs need to be careful about internalized stigma.My disability has caused the odd bit of heartache, but it’s also given me a power I wouldn’t trade easily; being able to weed out the guys who comment on my eyes, smile, or sense of humour from the ones who decide, very foolishly, to just check that I can actually have sex before taking the conversation any further. You’ve used your filter to find a nice guy/girl with plenty of potential, spoken about your impairment and been met with nods and smiles (result!Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating