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In most traditional cultures, past and present, the young woman has had no say in her choice of marriage partner.

“However, Torah law and Jewish custom have always frowned upon this practice, even in ancient times,” he says.

“The peace, love and physical affection between a husband and wife are very dear in God’s eyes.

It is a big mitzvah for anyone who is involved in helping two young people build a solid Jewish home.” It must be noted that an “arranged” marriage doesn’t mean “coerced,” says Rabbi Shlomo Yaffe of Congregation Agudas Achim in West Hartford.

“In fact, the opposition to coerced marriages was prevalent in Abraham's family even before Judaism.

In the Torah's account of Isaac’s marriage (Genesis 24), when Abraham’s servant Eliezer proposes to take Rebecca back to Canaan to marry Isaac, he is told by Rebecca’s family (Abraham’s cousins, who were not into his new religion): ‘Let us ask the maiden.’ From here the Sages derive that no one may be married against their choice.

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